“When I was in junior high, which was about middle school, eighth grade or something, I discovered alcohol. We were at a party that my parents’ friends were hosting. They had a bar in the basement. All the parents, all the adults went upstairs; a couple of us were downstairs and I discovered peppermint schnapps. I had like a third of a quart, crawled up the stairs, laid on the couch on my back, and threw up. My parents said, ‘I hope you learn something from that.’ Well, I did. I learned how wonderful alcohol is…”