getting started . . . process to follow
		giving advice
		quarterly self-check
		communication check-list for mentors

Getting started . . . process to follow

Check	Mentor	Mentee
	Call or email mentee to set up first meeting within a week after being matched	Respond to mentor’s request to set up the first meeting. Inform your supervisor of all meetings that take place during work time.
	Share information about background, professional experiences, and satisfactions. Include information about previous mentoring experiences, either as a mentor or mentee.	Share information about your background, your needs and values, and your aspirations
	Informally clarify common interests, shared work values (check out Work Values . . . under Mentoring Tools later in this handbook)	Informally clarify common interests, shared work values (check out Work Values . . . under Mentoring Tools later in this handbook)
	Help mentee clarify goals	Discuss goals to achieve your needs and aspirations
	Set up a schedule with your mentee for regular meetings and feedback sessions. Be sure to agree on frequency and times, and stick to them. Agree on a (flexible) conclusion date.	Set goals for yourself, and follow through on them. Don’t be afraid to raise your expectations or redefine your goals as part of the ongoing process.
	Compile a list of activities with mentee which meet mutual goals.	With your mentor, decide what steps will need to be taken to achieve your goals.
	Formulate a clear idea of what skills the mentee will need to learn and/or practice	Become familiar with skills you are strong in and talk about those you want to strengthen
	Utilize all resources available to you: Tools in this handbook Mentoring Team members Mentoring web site at http://www.uwosh.edu/mentoring Other mentoring links on web site (lists books and other resources) Supportive Materials available through Human Resources or web site Monthly Mentor Forum	Don’t be afraid to assert yourself! The purpose of the mentoring relationship is to teach you – make sure you’re learning!   Contact your mentor in between meetings by phone or email as questions arise.   Utilize the Mentoring web site at http://www.uwosh.edu/mentoring
	Complete Goals Form on following page and keep for future reference; update as needed	Complete Goals Form on following page and keep for future reference; update as needed
	Remember to both talk and listen.	Remember to both listen and talk.
	Brush up on your communication and other skills and always remember to take the mentee seriously.	Be receptive to feedback and coaching. Feedback should be perceived as an opportunity for growth.
	Be sensitive to gender and cross-cultural differences	Perfect your self-mentoring strategies
	Be careful of possessiveness toward your mentee	Pay attention to changes in your life or attitudes that may call for updating your goals and expected outcomes.

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Giving advice . . . an important component of mentoring

It is easy for a mentor to fall into the trap of having of all answers. Dispensing information is often required; it’s quick and easy and may make you feel good about yourself as a mentor. But if you only give advice, much of it fails to stick.

The balancing act involves coaching your mentee to discover insight on her/his own and also to give advice when you believe it is most needed.

Rules for Giving Advice*

1. Give advice only when your mentee has done some preliminary thinking on his/her own, and only after you have listened carefully and thoroughly understand the issue at hand. Don’t jump at the chance to provide your insight too early in the conversation.
2. Don’t give advice when your mentee sees you only as the "answer person" who has the golden piece of information. You both may get very used to the idea of his/her asking and you answering.
3. Give advice when your mentee ask for and needs it. One of the most frustrating mentor responses to the question, "What do you think I should do?" is, "What do you think you should do?" It often feels manipulative to the mentee; you apparently have an opiniion but for the sake of mentoring, you are withholding it.
4. Provide direction and give advice when your mentee is stuck. Then ask: "How do you think my advice would apply to your situation?" The goal is for the mentee to make the outcome his/her own. Your advice is meant only to get him/her "unstuck."
5. Try telling a story. You may feel that telling a story would be interesting and appropriate and that it would help illustrate a possible path for the mentee.

Handled well, advice can be your most appropriate mentoring action!

* Perrone Ambrose Associates, Inc.

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Quarterly self-check . . . for your mentoring relationship

After three months into the mentoring relationship, both mentor and mentee should complete the following checklist and discuss the answers together. This will give you evaluation points and suggestions to improve your mentoring relationship.

Check	Mentor	Mentee
	Did you seek and obtain a clear understanding of the mentee’s goals?	Did you share a clear understanding of your goals?
	Did you help your mentee think through their goals or expected outcomes?	Did the mentor help you think through your goals or expected outcomes?
	Did you listen?	Did you listen?
	Were you genuine, accepting, empathetic, and supporting?	Were you receptive to feedback and coaching?
	Did you express concern for, and commitment to, the mentee’s goals?	Did you take personal responsibility for your learning?
	Did you celebrate goal completion or a high point along the way to completion?	Did you celebrate completion of your goal or any high points?
	Did you guide the mentee in setting additional goals?	Did you set additional goals?
	Did you making pre-agreed upon meetings?	Did you making pre-agreed upon meetings?
	Did you complete assignments you agreed to do?	Did you complete assignments you agreed to do?
	Did you ask questions that challenged your mentee?	Did you answer challenging questions from your mentor?
	Is this mentoring relationship meeting your expectations so far?	Is this mentoring relationship meeting your expectations so far?
	How can this mentoring relationship be improved?	How can this mentoring relationship be improved?
	Do you need to update goals, activities, or the timeline to complete them?	Do you need to update goals, activities, or the timeline to complete them?

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Communication check-list for mentors

Following are some questions you, as the mentor, need to ask yourself about your role in the mentoring relationship. These can also be used as ways to improve communication and the mentoring relationship.

Check	Questions
	Have I built trust in the mentoring relationship?
	Have I overcome any hesitation to give my mentee honest feedback, which may include telling him/her that they are wrong and to suggest alternatives?
	Have I helped my mentee to develop goals or expected outcomes that are realistic and can be accomplished?
	Which role(s) do I have in this mentoring relationship? (see "The Mentor Role . . ." under Mentoring Tools later in this handbook)
	How well do I understand the mentee’s overall expectations for our mentoring relationship?
	Can I help my mentee accomplish his/her goals and expected outcomes?
	Is my communication with him/her effective, including verbal and nonverbal?
	Do I help the mentee develop objectives for each specific conversation or meeting?
	Does my delivery mode (face-to-face, email, phone) fit the mentee?
	Am I too formal or informal in this mentoring relationship?
	Do I give the mentee enough time to respond, to ask questions, or to ask for clarification during our meetings?
	If I think I have been misunderstood, can I clarify and paraphrase?
	Am I willing to set aside my own communication agenda to listen to that of my mentee?

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