Here
are three self-assessments in which you are asked to rate yourself
as a listener. There are no correct or incorrect answers. Your responses,
however, will extend your understanding of yourself as a listener
and highlight areas in which improvement might be welcome, both to
you and to those around you. When you have completed the tests, please
turn to the Profile Analysis to see how your scores compare with those
of thousands of others who have taken the same tests before you.
#1.
How well do you listen? A personal profile . . .
A.
Circle the term that best describes you as a listener.
|
Superior
|
Excellent
|
Above
Average
|
Average
|
Below
Average
|
Poor
|
Terrible
|
B. On a scale of 0-100 (100 = highest), how would you rate yourself
as a listener?
#2. How do you think the following people would rate you as a listener?
(0-100)
|
Your best friend |
____________ |
| Your
boss |
____________ |
| A
colleague/peer |
____________ |
| A
co-worker |
____________ |
| Your
spouse or significant other |
____________ |
#3. As a listener, how often do you find yourself engaging in these
ten bad listening habits? First, check the appropriate columns. Then
tabulate your score using the points indicated.
| Listening
Habit |
Frequency
|
Score |
|
Almost
always
(2
points)
|
Usually
(4 points)
|
Some-
times
(6 points) |
Seldom
(8 points)
|
Almost
never
(10
points)
|
|
| Calling
the subject uninteresting |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Criticizing
the speaker's delivery or mannerisms |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Getting
over-stimulated by something the speaker says |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Listening
primarily for facts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Trying to outline everything |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Faking
attention to the speaker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Allowing
interfering distractions |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Avoiding
difficult material |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Letting
emotion-laden words arouse personal antagonism |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Daydreaming
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
Total
|
|
Profile analysis: This is how other people have responded to
these same questions.
1A. Eighty-five
per cent of all listeners questioned rated themselves as Average or
lower. Fewer than five per cent rate themselves as Superior or Excellent.
1B. On the 0-100 scale, the extreme range is 10-90; the general
range is 35-85; and the average rating is 55.
When comparing
the listening self-ratings and projected ratings of others, most respondents
believe that their best friend would rate them highest as a listener.
And that rating would be higher than the one they gave themselves
in self-assessment #1, where the average was 55.
How come? We
can only guess that best friend status is such an intimate, special
kind of relationship that you cannot imagine the friendship ever happening
unless you were a good listener. If you were not, you and he or she
would not be best friends to begin with.
Going down the
list, people who take self-assessment #2 usually think their bosses
would rate them higher than they rated themselves. Now part of that
is probably wishful thinking. And part of it is true. We do tend to
listen to our bosses better - whether it is out of respect or fear
or whatever does not matter.
The scores for
colleague and job subordinates work out to be just about the same
as the listener rated himself -- that 55 figure again.
But when you
get to spouse -- husband or wife -- something really dramatic happens.
The score here is significantly lower than the 55 average that previous
profile-takers gave themselves. And what is interesting is that the
figure goes steadily downhill. While newlyweds tend to rate their
spouse at the same high level as their best friend, as the marriage
goes on -- and on -- the rating falls. So in a household where the
couple have been married 50 years, there could be a lot of talk. But
maybe nobody is really listening.
The average score
in self-assessment #3 is 62, 7 points higher than the 55 that the
average test-taker gave himself in Quiz 1. Which suggests that, when
listening is broken down into specific areas of competence, we rate
ourselves better than we do when listening is considered only as a
generality. Of course, the best way to discover how well you listen
is to ask the people to whom you listen most frequently -- your spouse,
boss, best friend, etc. They will give you an earful.