Tips for Becoming the Best Ally Ever
- Examine and be aware of your own baggage. Reflect honestly upon your fears and attitudes regarding GLBTQ (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning) individuals. Challenge your own homophobia/transphobia and stereotypes.
- Educate yourself. Read books and watch films about issues that focus on and affect the GLBTQ community and the rest of society. Keep an active awareness of current social and political events. Talk about what you learn with others, gay and straight.
- Challenge your own conceptions about gender-appropriate roles and behaviors. Do not expect people to perform according to society’s expectations of “men” and “women”. Support those who do not fit traditional gender roles.
- Do not assume that you know “what gays are about” or that there is one way to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning. Acknowledge and celebrate diversity within the GLBTQ community. Treat everyone as individuals.
- Do not assume that a person of the same gender is attracted to you just because of their sexual orientation. If any interest is shown, be flattered, not flustered. Treat any interest that person might show just as you would if it came from a straight person of the opposite sex.
- Challenge your won physical inhibitions around members of the same gender. Where it is appropriate and consensual, feel free to express physical affection with someone of the same gender.
- Do not assume that everyone you meet is straight. Respect what a person reveals or does not reveal about his/her sexuality.
- Avoid gossiping about the sexual orientation of others. A person’s sexual identity is his or hers to share.
- Avoid a point of your own heterosexuality. (“I have gay friends, but I’m not straight.”) If someone mistakes you for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning, do not treat it as an insult, or rush to correct the idea.
- Practice being a good role model. Use non-heterosexist language, attitudes, and behaviors. Use terms such as “significant other”. Ask “Are you seeing anyone?” rather than “do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” Ask about relationships rather than marriages.
- Challenge and confront heterosexist/homophobic statements, jokes, and attitudes of others. Silence condones and reinforces injustice.
- Challenge others to take a stand against heterosexism and homophobia, politically and socially. Share what you have learned and empower others to make a difference.
- Show your support for the GLBTQ community. Attend events sponsored by GLBTQ organizations or on issues of GLBTQ culture. Bring a friend or two (or more!).
- Expect to make mistakes. We all do. Learn from them, and keep on trying.
Materials adapted from: the Social Issues Training Project of the University ofMassachusetts; BGLA of Lawrence University; and GLBU of Macalester College