Strategies for Being an Effective Ally
- Assume that all people in your own group including yourself want to be allies to people in other groups. Assume that you in particular are good enough and smart enough to be an effective ally. (This does not mean that you have nothing more to learn-see #6 below.)
- Assume that you have a perfect right to be concerned with other people’s liberation issues, and that it is in your own interest to do so and to be an ally.
- Assume that all people in the target group want members of your group and you in particular as an ally. Assume that they recognize you as such-at least potentially. Assume that any appearance to the contrary (any apparent rejections of you as an ally) are the result of target groups people’s experience of oppression and internalized oppression
- Assume that people in the target group are already communicating to you in the best way they can at the present time. Assume that they can and will do better. Think about how to assist them in this without making your support dependent upon their “improving” in any way. (Hint: think about what has been helpful for you when you were in the target group position.)
- Assume that target group people are experts on their own experience, and that you have much to learn from them. Use your own intelligence and your own experience as a target group member to think about what the target group people might find useful.
- Recognize that as a non-target person you are an expert on the experience of having been conditioned to take the oppressor role. This means that you know the content of the lies which target group people have internalized. Don’t let timidity force you into pretended ignorance.
- Assume that target group people are survivors and that they have a long history of resistance. Become an expert on this history and assist target group people to take full pride in it.
- Become an expert on all the issues which are of concern to people in the target group, especially the issues which are most closely tied in to their internalized oppression. Assume that making mistakes is part of the learning process of being an ever more effective ally. Be prepared for flare-ups of disappointment and criticism. Acknowledge and apologize for mistakes: learn from them, but don’t retreat.
- Recognize that people in the target group can spot “oppressor-role conditioning;” do not bother with trying to “convince” them that this conditioning did not happen to you. Don’t attempt to convince target group people that you “are on their side”: just be their.
- Do not expect “gratitude” from people in the target group; thoughtfully interrupt if it is offered to you. Remember, being an ally is a matter of your choice. It is not an obligation; it is something you get to do;
- Be a 100% ally; no deals; no strings attached: “I’ll oppose our oppression if you oppose mine.” Everyone’s oppression needs to be opposed unconditionally.