The best things we can do as responsible individuals are educate ourselves on the subject of domestic violence.
When one person in a relationship repeatedly scares, hurts or puts down the other person, it is abuse. The Power and Control in Dating Relationships Wheel lists examples of each form of abuse. Remember, abuse is much more than slapping or grabbing someone.
Intimidation
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Domination
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- Yelling or screaming
- Using a threatening tone
- Talking down
- Threatening to hurt yourself or your partner
- Making your partner feel afraid
- Tearing up pictures
- Smashing gifts
- Destroying objects
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- Threatening your partner like a baby, property or servant
- Making all of the decisions
- Having expectations that no one can meet
- Controlling who your partner sees or spends time with
- Setting all of the rules in the relationship
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Sexual Abuse
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Humiliation
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- Bragging about your sexual relationship
- Comparing your partner to past partners
- Flirting to make your partner jealous
- Using drugs/alcohol to get sex
- Pressuring your partner
- Rape
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- Putting down your partner
- Calling your partner names
- Constant criticism
- Making your partner feel like they are crazy
- Humiliating your partner in front of people
- Making your partner feel guilty
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Physical Abuse
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Possessiveness
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- Holding your partner so they can't leave
- Slamming them into a wall
- Hurting your partner where bruises don't show
- Grabbing
- Slapping
- Hitting
- Shoving
- Punching
- Kicking
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- Using jealousy as a sign of love
- Accusing your partner of cheating on you
- Not letting your partner have other friends
- Telling your partner how to think, dress and act
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Threats
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Minimization and Blame
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- Saying you can't live without your partner
- Telling your partner you will leave them somewhere if they don't do what you say
- Constantly threatening to find someone else
- Saying you will commit suicide if you break up
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- Not accepting responsibility for your actions
- Making a joke when you hurt your partner
- Telling your partner everything is their fault
- Acting like abuse is OK in the relationship
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A relationship full of control is really out of control.
Download and print the Power and Control in Dating Relationships Wheel.
Between 25-33 percent of LGBT relationships include dating or domestic violence, a rate similar to heterosexual relationships.
Education allows us to know the signs, what to do and where to go for help when confronted with a domestic abuse situation. The knowledge we gain puts us into a position to empower ourselves, help others and put an end to domestic violence.
Source: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project. Duluth, MN. http://www.acadv.org/pcwheel.html.
